


Kill la Kill drabbles

by KB9VCN



Category: Kill la Kill
Genre: Drabble Collection, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:40:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6396865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KB9VCN/pseuds/KB9VCN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Published 29-Mar-2016; humor; 100 words.</p><p>For the <a href="http://31-days.livejournal.com/"><strong>31_days</strong></a> "<a href="http://31-days.livejournal.com/3171011.html">what matters is what it will become</a>" prompt.</p><p>This contains gruesome humor.  Reader discretion is advised.</p>
          </blockquote>





	1. Croakettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Mar-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[what matters is what it will become](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3171011.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains gruesome humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ryuko and Mako were walking home together after school. "What do you think will happen to all of the students who were 'expelled' from the academy today?" a worried Mako asked.

Ryuko gave Mako a side-hug. "It's best not to think about it," Ryuko said.

They arrived at the Mankanshoku's slum-house, and found Mako's mother serving a huge platter of croquettes for dinner. "Eat up!" Sukuyo said cheerfully. "There's more where this came from! I found a new supply of 'mystery meat'!"

Ryuko and Mako went half-blue in the face. "It's REALLY best not to think about it," Ryuko whimpered.


	2. String Bikini Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Apr-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[outmoded](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3181743.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains implied nudity and generally weird humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Shirou was explaining the Sewing Club's latest research to Satsuki.

"As you know," Shirou said, "when wearing _kamui_ , power increases as shamelessly exposed skin increases. However, a completely naked person is completely weak and vulnerable. So, we've been trying to create the most shameless and most powerful garment possible without crossing the threshhold into powerless nudity."

"...and?" Satsuki asked.

"This is it." Shirou held up a nearly-invisible string bikini with a small pair of tweezers.

"If the _kamui_ is too fine for fingers," Satsuki asked, "how would one wear it in battle?"

"We're still working out some bugs," Shirou admitted.


	3. Tea Time Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 24-Apr-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[explosion](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3181743.html)" prompt.
> 
> [Honestly! Whenever anything explodes, it's always "Blame Ryuko"!](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Young_Ones_\(TV_series\)#Nasty_.5B2.3.5D)
> 
> This contains nearby explosions and inappropriate acupuncture. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki was enjoying a cup of tea when a nearby explosion shook her private quarters. A flake of plaster broke away and plopped in her tea.

Satsuki raised an eyebrow in annoyance.

Cities had fallen for lesser annoyances.

—

Aikuro sneaked up behind Ryuko and paralyzed her with an acupuncture needle.

"Hey!! What's the big idea!?" Ryuko yelled.

"You're to be restrained at tea-times," Aikuro said, "so that Satsuki can take her tea undisturbed."

"WHAT!?" Ryuko snarled. "THAT DIRTY LOUSY ROTTEN STINKIN'!!—"

Aikuro silenced her with another needle. "Patience," he whispered. "You'll confront her soon enough."

"..." said a furious Ryuko.


	4. Dream Weaver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 13-May-2016; horror/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[she weaves in my dreams](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3192648.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Dream Weaver](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dream_Weaver)" by Gary Wright.
> 
> This contains nightmarish imagery. Reader discretion is advised.

"If you won't join me," Ragyo said to a captive Ryuko, "then I'll have to dispose of you again."

"I'd like to see you try," Ryuko snarled.

"You won't be able to see ANYTHING, my dear. The Life Fibers that I merged into your body will do THIS."

Ryuko's skin began to crawl— literally. Her arms fused to her sides and her legs swiftly weaved together.

As her eyes sealed shut, Ryuko tried to scream— but she no longer had a mouth.

—

Ryuko awoke with a gasp. _I never thought I'd be grateful just to have a face,_ she thought.


	5. Dream Leader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-May-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[my eyes open / but that dream has not broken](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3192648.html)" prompt.

A teenaged girl in a military uniform stood at the very edge of an impossibly high ledge, looking out across the lands that she ruled with both unparalleled military strength and political cunning beyond her years. The entire world would soon know— and fear— her name.

Her name was Satsuki Kiryuin, and the teeming masses were merely pigs in human clothes born to be governed by her. 

—

Satsuki awoke, stretched, and yawned, feeling rested and refreshed yet strangely bored.

 _It was a pleasant dream,_ Satsuki thought to herself, _and yet, it wasn't much of a change from my usual routine._


	6. Dream Dreamer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 15-May-2016; humor; 200 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[upon my life, this despair is very short](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3192648.html)" prompt.
> 
> This has absolutely nothing to do with KLK, but it kinda suits Mako.
> 
> This contains complete silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

Mako awoke, got out of bed, and met with a vampire outside her bedroom.

"AIEEE!!" screamed Mako.

—

Mako awoke with a gasp. She jumped out of bed, and met with Ryuko outside her bedroom.

"Good morning," Ryuko said. "Is something wrong?"

"I had a nightmare about a vampire," Mako said. "But it was very short. I woke up before it ended."

"No, you didn't. You're still dreaming," Ryuko said. She bared monstrous fangs and lunged at Mako.

"AIEEE!!" screamed Mako.

—

Mako awoke with a gasp. She jumped out of bed, and met with Ryuko outside her bedroom.

"Good morning," Ryuko said. "Is something wrong?"

"I had a nightmare within a nightmare about a vampire," Mako said. "But I woke up before it ended."

Ryuko suddenly gasped in surprise.

Mako narrowed her eyes at Ryoko. "Wait— you're not really a vampire, are you?"

"No," said Ryuko, "but [you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.](https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/The_Hitchhiker%27s_Guide_to_the_Galaxy#Chapter_9)" 

"AIEEE!!" quacked Mako.

—

Mako awoke (for real) with a gasp. She jumped out of bed, and met with Ryuko outside her bedroom.

"Good morn—" Ryuko started to say.

"AIEEE!!" screamed Mako.

"AIEEE!!" Ryuko screamed back. "WAIT— WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING AT ME!?"

"FORCE OF HABIT!!" Mako screamed.


	7. Only Love Can Conquer Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Jul-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[We’re mad with power! And love](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3221174.html)" prompt.

"Ryuko?" said Mako. "You've seemed even more angry than usual lately."

"Sorry," Ryuko said. "I'm thinking about BEATING THE SNOT OUT OF SATSUKI!!"

"It isn't healthy to hate all the time," Mako said. "You should learn to fill your heart with love instead."

"That might be a good idea," Ryuko said. "After all, I'd LOVE to BEAT THE SNOT OUT OF SATSUKI!!"

"That isn't what I meant," Mako said nervously.

"It'll make me so HAPPY," Ryuko said with a deeply disturbing smile, "to GRIND HER FACE INTO THE PAVEMENT!!"

"I'm both worried about you and terrified of you," Mako noted.


	8. Where The Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Aug-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I am learning the pathways of the heart](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3229023.html)" prompt.
> 
> This is an out-take from the end of episode 18.
> 
> This contains extremely graphic violence and OOC silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

A triumphant Ragyo plunged her hand into Ryuko's chest and mercilessly pulled out her pancreas.

"WHAT— ARE— YOU— DOING!?—" Ryuko gasped.

"I was planning to pull out your heart in order to make a point," Ragyo said, "but I seem to have missed it. Let's try again."

She stuffed Ryuko's pancreas back into her body, none too gently, rummaged around a bit, and then pulled out her spleen.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO," Ryuko shrieked, "BUT WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS STILL INCREDIBLY PAINFUL!!"

"You're still too low," Nui said. "Aim a bit higher."

"DON'T ENCOURAGE HER!!" Ryuko yelled.


	9. Enemy Minor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 14-Oct-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[it's me](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.

Ryuko and Satsuki faced each other. "At LAST!" Ryuko cried. "It's about time someone wiped that smug look off your face and put you in your place!"

Satsuki glanced behind her. "...eh?" she asked in mock surprise. "Is someone else here with you?"

"IT'S ME, YOU IDIOT!!" Ryuko yelled. "IT'S ME!! ME!! ME!!"

Satsuki turned back and raised an eyebrow. "...oh?" she said nonchalantly. "Well, if you say so."

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!!" said Ryuko.

" _Calm down!_ " Senketsu said. " _She's obviously trying to gain the upper hand by making you angry and breaking your concentration!_ " 

"WELL, GUESS WHAT!?" Ryuko shrieked. "IT'S OBVIOUSLY WORKING!!"


	10. Stink-Foot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 29-Oct-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[smell my feet](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Stink-Foot](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KauE3_wRBwI)" by Frank Zappa.
> 
> This contains eww. Reader discretion is advised.

Gamagoori kneeled before Satsuki, who raised one foot toward him. "I need you to—" she started to say.

"Yes, Lady Satsuki." Gamagoori submissively put his head under Satsuki's heel.

"Not THAT!" an unusually embarrassed Satsuki said. "My boots are too tight. I need you to pull them off."

"...oh." Gamagoori pulled her boot off as gently as he could.

"EEYOWTCH!!" Satsuki said.

Gamagoori held Satsuki's delicate foot in his huge hands. "Forgive me, Milady!!"

He suddenly gasped and recoiled. "Again, forgive me, Milady, but your boots ARE too tight. Your feet STINK."

 _It's not easy dressing for dominance,_ Satsuki thought.


	11. Rescheduling Conflict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Nov-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[one of the most time consuming things is to have an enemy](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3253389.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence and out-of-context silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki returned to her bedroom after her morning bath. She opened her closet— and Ryuko jumped out.

Ryuko wrapped an arm around Satsuki's neck in a chokehold. "TELL ME WHO KILLED MY FATHER!!" Ryuko yelled.

Completely ignoring her, Satsuki reached into her closet and pulled out a fresh uniform on a hangar. She effortlessly shrugged Ryuko to one side, but still found it difficult to get dressed.

"Could we continue this later?" Satsuki asked. "I don't have time for it now. I have a student council meeting after breakfast."

_I'm not sure she's taking me seriously,_ Ryuko thought to herself.


	12. Is It Luck?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 11-Dec-2016; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[rather than fortune, wasn’t it through great effort?](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3272715.html)" prompt.
> 
> See also "[Is It Luck?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz5nVmANAPs)" by Primus.

Ryuko wearily took her classroom seat next to Mako as the after-lunch bell rang. "What happened?" Mako asked.

"Another school club ambushed me, and most of them had multi-star Goku uniforms," Ryuko groaned. "I spent the lunch hour fighting them. I didn't even have time to eat."

"You're lucky," Mako said. "If you were anyone besides YOU, you probably would have been killed."

"I sure don't feel lucky," Ryuko said sadly.

"You also saved money by skipping lunch," Mako said encouragingly.

Ryuko facedesked from hunger, exhaustion, and annoyance. "I'm also lucky to have you as a friend," she said dryly.


	13. Loud Places And High Noises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 10-Jan-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[since her fear did her no good, she ceased to be afraid](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3284216.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains out-of-character silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

With Gamagoori behind her, Satsuki walked out onto the narrow platform overlooking the academy arena to deafening cheers.

_All humans fear high places and loud noises,_ Gamagoori thought, _and yet, Lady Satsuki shows no fear of either._

"Gamagoori?" said Satsuki suddenly. "I'm really scared. Please hold me."

_I stand corrected,_ Gamagoori thought. "I cannot," he said. "You must stand alone."

Satsuki was paralyzed with fear. "In that case," she said, "just KILL me."

"I cannot do that either," Gamagoori said.

"I want my mommy," Satsuki whimpered.

"No you don't," Gamagoori said. "She's a vicious sociopath. Remember?"

"Ah, right," Satsuki said.


	14. Get Your Blood Pumping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Feb-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[you came out of the world to me, my life parted like the Red Sea](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3295603.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains creepy adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Ryuko sat up in her futon and sighed loudly. " _Can't sleep?_ " Senketsu asked from his hanger.

"I've just been so stressed out lately, y'know?" Ryuko said to her living Goku Uniform.

" _If you can spare some blood,_ " Senketsu said, " _I could help you work off your stress._ "

"It's kinda late for exercise or fighting practice," Ryuko said.

" _True,_ " Senketsu said, " _but I can also do THIS._ "

Most of Senketsu began to vibrate gently, like a massage chair... but a few parts vibrated much faster.

Ryuko immediately pulled off her pajamas and put Senketsu on. "High setting, please," she said lustily.


	15. Budget Fuss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 9-Mar-2017; angst/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[some think it's holding on that makes one strong, but sometimes it's letting go](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3306592.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains mildly cruel humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki handed a printed spreadsheet to Nonon. "Here's your club-budget for the next semester," she said.

"[NANI SORE!?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYDhTpBNouk)" Nonon shrieked.

"We're cutting the non-athletic clubs' budgets by ninety-five percent to fund our 'acquisition' of other academies," Satsuki said sternly. "I trust you have no objections?"

Nonon hung her head. "No Ma'am."

"I know these cuts will be difficult," Satsuki said, "but I'm sure you'll find the resources to—"

Nonon looked up with big sad shiny eyes.

"Ah," Satsuki said. "If you wish, you can take the rest of today off and have a long cry first."

"Thank you," Nonon sniffled.


	16. Stick To Your Diet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 8-May-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[Twigs!](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3324655.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

Ryuko sat down to dinner with the Mankanshokus. "What are we having?" she asked hopefully.

Sukuyo set a platter of sticks and twigs on the table. "Eat up!" she said cheerfully.

"I hate being poor," Ryuko said sadly.

"It could be worse," Mako said as she chewed on a twig. "These are better than the chunks of dirt we had for dinner yesterday."

Ryuko set a stick aside. "Saving a snack for later?" Mako asked.

"No," Ryuko said. "The next time I see Satsuki, I'm gonna ram this stick up her—"

"Ryuko!" said Sukuyo. "Please don't play with your food."


	17. Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Stupid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Jul-2017; humor/parody; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[revenge was never my intention](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3327585.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also [_The Princess Bride_](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0093779/quotes#qt0482750) and a quote attributed to (I think) W.C. Fields.
> 
> This contains adult language and adult themes. Reader discretion is advised.

"Tell me," Satsuki said to Ryoko during a lull in their endless duels. "If you find the person who killed your father, what will you do?"

"I'll walk up to that person," Ryoko said solemnly, "and I'll say, 'Hello. My name is Ryuko Matoi. You killed my father. Prepare to die.'"

"Ah," Satsuki said. "So you are merely seeking revenge, then."

"Revenge? Nah," Ryoko said casually. "I never hold a grudge. As soon as I KILL the son-of-a-bitch, I'll forget all about it."

"Ryoko?" said Satsuki. "I do not think that the word 'revenge' means what you think it means."


	18. Mother Of Perversion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 30-Aug-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I miss you and I yearn after you](http://31-days.livejournal.com/3328150.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains completely out-of-context creepy humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki's butler offered her a mobile handset. "It's your mother," he said.

Satsuki sighed. "Is something wrong, Mother?" she asked over the handset.

"Why, Satsuki!" Ragyo said over the phone. "Is it so strange for us to chat?"

"Yes," Satsuki said. "Could you make this quick? I have an academy to dominate."

"I was only WONDERING," Ragyo said in a hurt tone, "if you could spare the time to visit your mother."

"Will you grope me in your bath," Satsuki asked, "or leave me nude and shackled in a cage for several weeks?"

"It's entirely possible," Ragyo admitted. "...Hello? Hello!?"


	19. Her Heart Wasn't In The Right Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 15-Oct-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[your heart, fix it](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329101.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This takes place some time after episode 18.
> 
> This contains graphic violence and OOC silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

Ryuko was chatting with Satsuki and Mako when she grimaced and held a hand to her chest. "What's wrong?" Mako asked.

"I've never felt quite right," Ryuko said, "since Ragyo pulled my heart out of my chest."

"Perhaps she replaced it incorrectly," Satsuki said. "Hold still for a moment."

Without warning, she plunged her own hand into Ryuko's chest and made some adjustments. "Is that better?" she asked.

"Yes," Ryuko gasped, "but I REALLY wish EVERYBODY would STOP DOING THAT!!"

"At least her heart was in the right place," Mako thought out loud.

"Both literally and figuratively," Satsuki added smugly.


	20. Hold On Nonon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 12-Nov-2017; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[surround me](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3329779.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains slightly OOC mild kinky humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Gamagoori found Nonon brooding by herself. "Is something wrong?" Gamagoori asked.

"Not really," an unusually subdued Nonon confessed. "I'm just feeling a bit down today."

Gagagoori held out his arms. "I think somebody needs a HUG," he said sympathetically.

Nonon sweat-dropped. "Actually, I'm good— [NANI SORE!?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYDhTpBNouk)"

Gamagoori activated his Shackle Regalia, wrapping Nonon up in his inescapable cocoon.

And then, Satsuki walked up. "Er, Gamagoori? she asked. "Am I interrupting something?"

"* _MMMPH_ *!!" said Nonon. "* _MMMPH MMMPH_ *!! * _MMMPH_ *!! * _MMMPH MMMPH_ *!! * _MMMPH_ *!!"

"Gamagoori, I appreciate your efforts to keep up morale," Satsuki said, "but a head-pat would have sufficed."

"* _mmmph_ *" said Gamagoori.


	21. Muffle Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 16-Dec-2017; general/humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[warm me up](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3330148.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains gratuitous feels. Reader discretion is advised.

Ryuko stepped out of the Mankanshoku's slum-house, wearing Senketsu in skimpy school-uniform form, and began to shiver. "It's so cold," she grumbled.

Mako ran up. "Here you go!" she said as she threw a very long muffler over Ryuko's shoulders.

"Thanks," Ryuko said, "but if this is your scarf, YOU should wear it—"

"Nah!" Mako put the other end over herself, and then took Ryuko's hand. "We're scarf buddies!"

An unusually contemplative Ryuko smiled and squeezed Mako's warm hand. _This scarf must be made out of something even more powerful than Life Fibers,_ she thought. _I've never felt THIS warm._


	22. Wear Abouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 18-Jan-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[tindering sheets and skin together](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3331131.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).

Ryuko reached up to take Senketsu from his hanger, but paused. " _Is something wrong?_ Senketsu asked.

"I was just wondering if you could wear clothing yourself," Ryuko said.

" _Actually, I wear someone instead,_ " Senketsu said. " _I wear YOU._ "

Ryuko blinked in confusion. "So when I wear you, YOU'RE wearing ME?"

" _Yes, and when I'm being worn, you're being worn too. And you're wearing me while you're being worn._ "

Mako knocked at Ryuko's doorway. "Are you getting dressed?" she asked.

"I was," Ryuko whimpered, "but I almost fell into an infinite loop."

"I HATE it when that happens," Mako said sympathetically.


	23. It's Lonely As The Top

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Feb-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[You are not alone. There will always be someone out there, at least one other person who struggles the same way you do](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3332043.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> This contains mild adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

"Tell me, Gamagoori," said a weary Satsuki. "Do you think that any other student council president has ever faced the challenges that I now face?"

"I beg your pardon," Gamagoori said respectfully, "but it is a mistake to imagine one's circumstances are unique. And many other schools remain unconquered."

"I hope that I might soon meet another school council president who is like myself," Satsuki said thoughtfully.

Gamagoori nodded.

But Satsuki wasn't finished. "And I shall PROVE my superiority by DOMINATING her, BODY and SOUL!!"

_She completely missed the point,_ Gamagoori thought to himself, _but regardless, that was pretty hot._


	24. Boot To The Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Mar-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](http://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[I will fear no concussion](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3333751.html)" prompt (posted to AO3 only).
> 
> See also "[Boot To The Head](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo)" by the Frantics.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence and random silliness. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki sat down with a sigh and massaged her calves. _These boots are KILLING me,_ she thought.

She tried to pull off one boot, but it barely budged. "* _NGH_ *!! * _NGH_ *!! * _NGH_ *!!" Satsuki grunted.

The latex boot very suddenly came free, slipped from her grasp, and flew across the room. 

As if on cue, Nonon knocked at the open doorway. "Milady?" she asked. "I— [NANI SORE!?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYDhTpBNouk)" 

* _WHAM_ *!!

The rest of the Elite Four had been following Nonon. "What happened?" Gamagoori asked.

"Boot to the head," Sanageyama noted.

"Lady Satsuki keeps her subjects 'under her heel'," Inumuta said, "but THIS is RIDICULOUS."


	25. Scissor?  I Hardly Even Know Her!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 3-Apr-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[sharp like a knife](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3336873.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence. Reader discretion is advised.

Mako knocked at the open doorway of Ryuko's room. "Ryuko?" she called. "Where are you?"

She noticed Ryuko's half of the [Rending Scissors](http://kill-la-kill.wikia.com/wiki/Scissor_Blades) leaning against a wall. "OOH, SHINY!" she said.

She picked up the scissor blade by its handle. "It's not as heavy as it looks," she thought out loud.

And then, she swung it like a sword. "[Ho! Ha-ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! THRUST!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cuihrjLNAo)" she shouted.

As if on cue, Ryuko walked up. Mako's THRUST left the tip of the blade mere millimeters from Ryuko's throat.

"Mako?" said Ryuko with considerable restraint. "[PUT. THE SCISSOR. BACK.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sO3qJGKs9gw&t=0m15s)"


	26. Step By Step On Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Published 2-May-2018; humor; 100 words.
> 
> For the [**31_days**](https://31-days.livejournal.com/) "[the wretched and joyful](https://31-days.livejournal.com/3337647.html)" prompt.
> 
> This contains slapstick violence and weird adult humor. Reader discretion is advised.

Satsuki opened the door to her private quarters to find a student prostrate on the hallway floor.

"Lady Satsuki! I beg you!" the submissive student cried. "Use me as your doormat!"

"Very well, pig." Satsuki took a few small unsteady steps on the student.

"Why do you not tread more firmly?" the student asked.

"This isn't as easy as it looks— WHOAH!!" Satsuki lost her balance and face-planted onto the floor.

"What an honor it is to kiss the same floor that Lady Satsuki has kissed!" the student said earnestly.

"Oh, shut up," an embarrassed Satsuki said into the floor.


End file.
